First Question Answered!

Greetings people and platypi!  (Platypusi? Platypuses?  Beaver ducks!) As you can see from the gap between this post and the last, I, Parthenon the Blue Whale, have answered my first question.  And that question was, "Do blue whales work on holiday weekends?"  No!  No, they do not.  I spent the holiday weekend doing court-mandated volunteer work serving as a marine-fire-works-launching platform off the coast of Long Island for a party thrown by  Lady Gaga.  Apparently my parole officer is a fan.  A good time was had by all, even if I did get my flukes singed and spent the whole day slightly nervous that GaGa would try to turn me into a cravat.

But today is a new day, and I am back to my new steady job:  Answering your questions and dishing out top-quality whale-centric advice.  Just send an email to me (Yes, really.  Send an email to me, the AnswerWhale, with a question.  That's how this works.) at answerwhale@gmail.com and I will post your letter here complete with my response.  Names will be changed to protect the innocent, the guilty, the ridiculous, and most marsupials.  I will give you advice, then you will take that advice and your life will get better!  That's what whales are for. 

So what are you waiting for? Send a letter to the AnswerWhale!  Solving all your problems with his great big tail since early July 2010.  answerwhale@gmail.com 

Happy Day,
Parthenon

Hi. My name is Parthenon and I'm here to help.

Greetings humans and other sentient internet-using beasts!  (I'm looking at YOU, octopi.)  I, as you have probably noted, am a blue whale and, as a condition of my parole, it has been strongly suggested that I perform some kind of "public service."  Of course, my first instinct was to eat an enormous amount of krill and ice cream and then swim up beside a whale-watching boat to offer up some precious ambergris.  Surprisingly, the humans did not appreciate the gesture.  So that's out.  And also, I am out of ice cream.


I have decided instead to make my vast life experiences available to you, the reader, by taking questions and offering you guidance in any and all dilemmas on which you would like a whale's perspective.  I think you will be surprised how much wisdom whales possess!  Sometimes we are full of so much wisdom that it comes bursting out our blowholes!

So, send me your questions!   Send them to answerwhale@gmail.com
Look:  I've even written a jingle to encourage you!

AnswerWhale!  AnswerWhale!
Solving all your problems with his great big tail!
Feeling down?  Lost your job?
Did you get shot at a liquor store you tried to rob?
Did your girl turn out to be a male?
Then you'd better send a letter to the AnswerWhale!

Peace out!
-Parthenon